Been in a self pity mode for a little while now. I don't know exactly when I moved into it...it was gradual. One minute I was basking in God's love and the next I whining worse than a baby that wants the last piece of candy. It seems that I felt (catch the use of the past tense) that I was unappreciated and unloved...nobody cared what I was doing or that I was doing anything at all. Boo-hoo....wahhh! I think that we all get there from time to time...wanting to be recognized for our hard work...wanting that pat on the back...funny how God can use those times as teaching tools for our souls.
It just so happened that as I wallowed in my "woe is me" place that we at our church prepared for baptism...our pastor, my mentor and a man I consider a friend, brought the message and it was intended to be for those that where not saved...for those that were pretending to be Christ followers. It was not a message for me...or was it? I mean, I have been a Christ follower for many moons now...certainly not a babe in Christ...but, as our pastor spoke God began to pluck at my heart strings...it wasn't until later in the service, as baptisms were taking place that God revealed to me a lesson in which I hope not to ever forget...I watched people going under the water and coming back up rejoicing in the life transforming profession that they had just made and God asked me three questions that were as clear to my heart as if He were standing directly in front of me..."Are you merely pretending to love Me?" "Are you really full of Me or are you empty of Me and full of self?" Finally God asked, "I have allowed you to be a part of this persons moment with me...is that not payment enough?" I will tell you that I was cut to the bone. Suddenly I could do nothing but smile...suddenly all of the self pity I was feeling was replaced by the love of God. I saw so clearly what it was that had alluded me before. Pretenders desire to be paid in ways that man sees. Fakers are full of their own wants and cry when they can not have their wants fulfilled. Payment comes in many forms...appreciation is shown in a myriad of ways. My God loves me so much that He allowed me to share a moment between Him and other people that I don't even know! There is no pat on the back that can ever equal that...ever.
So, while I am not sure what God has in store for me I am sure of this...rather than look for the appreciation of man, rather than long for a pat on the back from man...I only desire to one day hear my Lord and Saviour say, "Well done, good and faithful servant...well done". For me, that is more than enough...
To know me is to...well, know me....
- Michael Reid
- Orangeburg, SC, United States
- I am a follower of Christ and I am married to the love of my life, Michelle (Hi, honey!) I have the honor of being father to 5 sons, Kentrell, Sean-Michael, Stephen, Seth, and Devonte' AND "Pop-Pop" to Tyvion and Jade Marie. I love Jesus and if you ever wanna find me just go to my church...Cornerstone Community Church, and more than likely that is where I'll be. I am a retired Marine (Semper Fi'!), and an alumni of the University of South Carolina (Go Gamecocks!).
2 comments:
How awesome! I couldn't figure out what the Lord was trying to tell me during that sermon, but I just wasn't understanding. I see clearly now too, thanks so much for your spiritual transparency.
Wow. I didn't think of it that way. I understand exactly what you are saying because I have self pity often. I look for rewards or someone to pat me on the back but I never look at it as you did. I actually sat and watched people get baptized and I didn't even know why I was still there. People were leaving because church was over but I stayed to see the transformation of their spiritual life. Interesting how God can do small things that mean so much.
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